SPORTSQUOTES

BEGONE

2007-05-23T09:18:00.001-07:00

GO AWAY

ALL NONSENSE HAS MOVED TO: THETHOUGHTFULPIG.BLOGSPOT.COM

THEN JUST GET ME A CHERRY SLUSHEE, AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT

2006-11-28T04:29:00.000-08:00

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"I don't have a Dr. Livingstone's frozen elixir. I don't. I don't know what I can do.

Bill Parcells

doesn't have a kicker either

THAT'S NOT WHAT THE MAN IN THE YELLOW HAT SAID

2006-09-11T05:47:00.000-07:00

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I believe, at the end of the day, personally, my life is not about a banana."

Maria Sharapova

here, there, everywhere

ADD IT UP

2006-09-08T02:21:00.000-07:00

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With 2:30 or so left on the clock:

"They're [the Dolphins} are really getting into two minute territory."

Al Michaels

"Yes, but it's not really a two minute drill, it's really a four minute drill because they need two scores."

John Madden

MEMO TO MYSELF

2006-09-07T12:09:00.000-07:00

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"I would like to apologize to the Detroit Lions organization, our fans, my family and friends for any embarrassment these incidents have caused. These incidents represent a mistake in judgment on my part. I deeply regret them and have learned a valuable lesson. It won't happen again."

Detroit Lions' defensive line coach Joe Cullen, on the occasion of his (separate)arrests for driving nude and for driving drunk.

link

THURSDAY'S CHILD HAS FAR TO GO

2006-09-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

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"Today is not Sunday. I didn't get my Ph.D., so I don't know."

Carolina Panther's receiver Steve Smith

here comes the weekend

?

2006-08-15T08:11:00.000-07:00

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"I’m not Dr. Seuss. I'm not even Dr. Phil."

Mets pitching coach Rick Peterson

nyt

SOME DICTIONARY HE MUST HAVE

2006-07-11T10:33:00.000-07:00

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"Brett was trying to help his wife."

Phillies owner Bill Giles on the arrest of pitcher Brett Myers after Myers punched his wife in the face.

here

WHO SAID IT #2

2006-06-29T04:32:00.000-07:00

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"Seriously, I suck That's all I can say."

A. Jenna Jameson
B. Condoleeza Rice
C. George Michael
D. Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels

sportsquote

WHO SAID IT?

2006-06-27T10:05:00.000-07:00

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"I am not married to David Beckham. I'm not even engaged to him."

A. Michael Jackson
B. Allspice
C. David Clyde
D. Sven-Goran Eriksson

like it matters

RECONSIDERING THE SEX CHANGE PROCEDURE, JOHN?

2006-06-21T07:22:00.000-07:00

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"I said, two years ago I wouldn't have thought about it. I'm not an idiot. If it happens, I'd be open to it. That's it."

John Smoltz

link

HOW DO YOU DO THAT ROCK PAPER SCISSORS THING AGAIN?

2006-06-21T07:16:00.000-07:00

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"Believe me, I would like to know also. If I would have known, I already would have made some kind of statement or announcement or something because, as you can imagine, I get these questions all the time.

Anna Kournikova

link

I GUESS THAT 'DON'T CRY FOR ME' STUFF IS OLD NEWS

2006-06-07T07:18:00.000-07:00

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"We like to cry a lot and to play the role of victims, and we always need to convoke demons from outside to explain our failures..."

Ezequiel Fernández Moores, a popular Argentine sports and political commentator.

nyt

JUST LOOKING OUT FOR THE GREAT UNWASHED

2006-06-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

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"I decided to show the fans love. They pay my salary. It's becoming a big thing. I don't think it's like I shot somebody or something. You know what? It's good for the fans. And the fans will always remember it. And I'll always remember it."

Lastings Milledge does the fans a favor

nydn

GOURMET GRUB

2006-05-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

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"The food here, to me, is awesome. For me to be able to go through the line here [at the NovaCare cafeteria] and pass up the cheesesteaks and the pizza and the baked macaroni they had today, that's a great accomplishment for me. Last year, it was all bad. Every day it was pancakes, I have to drown 'em in syrup, like you can't even see the pancake anymore. That's not good."

Philadelphia Eagles' guard Shawn Alexander is on a diet

just the facts

HOW BALLPLAYERS STAY CHASTE ON THE ROAD

2006-05-24T11:29:00.000-07:00

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"It swells up and you move on. You give it enough time and it goes away."

The Houston Astros' Craig Biggio explains.

wapo

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO

2006-05-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

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"The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing. I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago. All through the sixties I tested everything."

Bill Lee

link

ASKED AND ANSWERED

2006-05-04T10:23:00.000-07:00

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"Does he know me?"

"Do I know this guy?"

"I don't know this guy."

"I might have said one word to this guy."

"I don't know this kid."

"I think he overreacts to stuff."

"We go out there, we play, and when we play during the season, we play each other."

"I don't know this kid."

"I don't need to know this kid."

"I don't want to."

"We go out there, we play the game and leave it at that."

Kobe Bryant, beat poet

lat

WHO SAID IT - THE SQ EDITION

2006-05-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

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"Every time you stick your butt out and try to hit me in my genitals, you're doing it on purpose. That's something you don't do inadvertently ...."

A. Ron Turcotte, to Secretariat
B. Dennis Rodman, to his latest paramour
C. Tim Finchem, to John Daly
D. Raja Bell, to Kobe Bryant

answer

STOP THE PRESSES! MATT "SCOOP" LEINART HAS AN EXCLUSIVE!

2006-04-29T09:26:00.000-07:00

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"Thursday, I had the opportunity to meet with Donald Trump. I was looking forward to it ever since we talked about scheduling the meeting last week. I met with him for 20-30 minutes and just hung out.

He's a very powerful man in the city. We talked about golf, the Notre Dame game -- just everything. Before I got sick this past weekend I was supposed to play golf on one of his courses. It was good to get a chance to meet and speak with him. Not a lot of people have the opportunity to do that.

It was exciting. What a great guy.

from Diary of a Doofus

A KNEE SLAPPER

2006-04-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

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"One of my favorites was sneaking up on my teammate Awvee Storey. He has a bad attitude, and I just have to try and get him to smile."

"One day he was on the toilet reading the paper, and I snuck in with a water hose, turned it on him and sprayed him for, like, three minutes. He had all his clothes on, and he got soaked. It was hilarious."

One more from Gilbert Arenas

link

ANOTHER LOVEABLE ATHLETE TAKES A TOUR DOWN MEMORY LANE

2006-04-25T11:18:00.000-07:00

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"I just knew my name was going to be called in the first round. I was watching the tube by myself while my dad was throwing a party in another room. I wanted to see what team I was going to and then join everyone to celebrate."

"When the first round was over and I didn't get picked, I started crying like a baby. I threw my jewelry out the window. I was trying to call people and see if I could give back the car I bought. I called my coach at Arizona and asked if I could come back to school. It was terrible."

Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas remembers draft day.

link

WHO SAID IT

2006-04-25T07:01:00.000-07:00

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"Unfortunately, I can't talk about any legal business.... But when things are sorted out, I'll be more than happy to tell my side of the story so you can find out what happened."

A. O.J. Simpson
B. Ray Lewis
C. Robert Blake
D. Ricky Manning, Jr.
E. All of them, of course.

E is the correct answer. Who said it most recently here.

FROM THE ARCHIVES

2006-04-23T07:22:00.000-07:00

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"... I was surprised to see that Bill Madlock is black. Mostly, blacks don't go by Bill, you know. They call themselves Willie."

Whitey Herzog's first day managing the Texas Rangers, 1973

lots more here

DIARY OF A DOOFUS

2006-04-10T09:15:00.000-07:00

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"I went to a Billy Joel concert at the Staples Center on Wednesday. Billy Joel was rockin'. I went with my family and had a great time. I'm a huge fan. We were all waiting for "Piano Man." It was his last song. He saved the best for last."

Excerpt from Matt Leinart's diary

Read the rest of the the installment here.

A MEASURED RESPONSE

2006-03-21T03:26:00.000-08:00

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"TO is not mature."

"TO is bipolar."

"And, TO is insane."

Howard Eskin, Philadelphia radio sports talk host, reacts calmly to the news that Terrell Owens is now a Cowboy

PHRASE OF THE DAY

2006-03-09T08:11:00.000-08:00

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"It's a very quiet clubhouse. Guys feel like they got kicked in the stomach."

Buck Martinez, the United States manager.

"We felt we were kicked in the stomach last night playing South Africa."

Ernie Whitt, Canada's manager.

nyt

ZENO WOULD HAVE LOVED THIS GUY

2006-02-26T13:02:00.000-08:00

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We don't do one thing consistent, cause if we did we'd be doing it all the time.

Stephon Marbury, radio interview, 2/25/06

AND WHEN THEY DO RUN OUT OF POWER, PHIL WILL MOVE ON TO SACRIFICING CHICKENS AND BAYING AT THE MOON

2006-02-17T11:58:00.000-08:00

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"You have to put them in salt or sunshine every once in a while to regenerate their power."

Phil Jackson discusses the care and feeding of his many Energy Muse necklaces.

SI

WHO'S CRAZIER? (RETIRED BASEBALL PLAYERS CATEGORY)

2006-02-17T11:46:00.001-08:00

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"There is no good or bad. We're all the same, but we're all different. The higher we ascend, the more the same we are."

"I'll wake up at night and look at the clock and it's 11:11," he says. "I'll turn on the TV and see a baseball game tied at 11 in the 11th inning. I'll look out the window and see a car passing with 1111 on the license plate. The car will turn into a driveway with 1111 on the mailbox."

2 from Darren Daulton

---------------------------

"You guys never report the good stuff that I do."

Albert Belle, after his stalking arrest

all from SI

JUST THE DRINK TALKING?

2006-02-14T08:30:00.000-08:00

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"I feel I skied the way I hoped would reflect a positive objective end result. But when there's a discrepancy there, you have a moment of confusion and disappointment. But after that, what can you do? My subjective criteria was satisfied. Subjectively is how I ski."

Bode Miller

wapo

IF YOU DON'T KNOW HIM BY NOW....

2006-02-03T07:51:00.000-08:00

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If they don't know who I am now, they are never going to know me anyway."

Steeler linebacker, and all-around great guy, Joey Porter

link

FOOTBALL PLAYER MORE INSCRUTABLE THAN ALAN GREENSPAN

2006-02-01T06:10:00.000-08:00

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"People are expected to do X-Y-Z things, but I don't do X-Y-Z things. I'm Darrell Jackson, you know? I went to Florida. Nothing was ever given to me. I'm D-Jack."

Seahawks wide receiver Darrell Jackson

link

SHE WOULD EVEN DO THE GAY METS - WHETHER THEY LIKED IT OR NOT

2006-01-25T03:17:00.000-08:00

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"I told him (Kris) — because that's the biggest thing in athletics, they cheat all the time — I told him, 'Cheat on me all you want. If you get caught, I'm going to (have sex with) everybody on your entire team. Coaches, trainers, players.' I would do everybody on his whole team."

Anna Benson (baseball wife, sexual adventuress) during an appearance on Howard Stern's radio show.

link

ISIAH NEEDS A HUG

2006-01-25T03:01:00.000-08:00

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"What? I can't get any love today?"

What Isiah Thomas is alleged to have said to Anucha Browne Sanders, the Knicks former high-profile senior vice president of marketing.

link

WHO SAYS FOOTBALL IS GAY?

2006-01-18T12:27:00.000-08:00

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"He's got a nice one, a real nice one. I like it. It's better than Ben's."

Denver Broncos tackle George Foster evaluates QB Jake Plummer's . . . . . beard.

nyt

GO FIGURE

2006-01-18T07:23:00.000-08:00

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"I am not Bill Belichick and I am not Bill Parcells"

Eric Mangini, new coach of the NY Jets

link

2006-01-09T12:27:00.000-08:00

THE TENSE PROBLEMS AND DOUBLE NEGATIVE DETRACT FROM THE MESSAGE

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"He spit in my face, no man is going to spit in my face. I have a lot of respect for Sean Taylor, but no respect no more."

Tampa Bay Buccaneer Michael Pittman wrestles with the language.

link

AND THE SKIES ARE NOT CLOUDY ALL DAY

2006-01-05T04:55:00.000-08:00

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"Giants all the way, baby. Mike Strahan is the man. If they stay confident and stay on their game, they can win it for us."

Giants fan Jason Adams

nydn

HOW'S THE CURRENT IRAQ WAR GOING, CHAD?

2006-01-03T09:07:00.000-08:00

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"Even though a lot of people don't want to believe me, this time around has been less invasive, and has been much smoother and a little bit easier than the first time."

Unarmed QB Chad Pennington weighs in on the issue of the day.

nydn

CASE CLOSED

2005-12-30T08:18:00.000-08:00

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FORT LAUDERDALE -- Florida State starting linebacker A.J. Nicholson was suspended for Tuesday's Orange Bowl after he was accused of sexually assaulting a 19-year-old woman at the team hotel early Thursday morning.

snip

"This is so out of character for A.J. He's a Christian young man. He was raised up in the church. He would not assault anybody."

A.J. grandmother Patricia Nicholson Stover, for the defense.

link

IS IT REALLY SOMETHING TO BRAG ABOUT?

2005-12-30T07:32:00.000-08:00

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"Right now, I'm the Jets' coach. I'll be the Jets' coach Sunday against the Bills, and Monday I'll be the Jets' coach, and Thursday when we have our (postseason media) gathering, I'll be the Jets' coach."

"I'm the Jets' coach, as far as I'm concerned."

"I'm the Jets' coach," he said. "That's where it's at."

Herm Edwards

link

HEY BILL, EVER THINK OF BECOMING A SONG AND DANCE MAN?

2005-12-30T07:22:00.000-08:00

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"How do I perceive my future? I don't have a crystal ball."

Bill Parcells won't commit.

nyt

HEY, STEPHON. WHAT'S WITH THE TRANSIT STRIKE?

2005-12-22T03:29:00.000-08:00

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"I know I'm going to be blamed. I'm not worried about that."

Stephon Marbury's latest woes.

link

SUBTEXT: BOB GRIESE, BACKSTABBER

2005-12-20T13:40:00.000-08:00

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"Shula's wife, Mary Anne, I don't think had ever seen Coach in the heat of battle,'' Griese said.

"But when a San Diego Charger caught that ball on his own 2-yard line, it was like that jaw started to stick out and he said, `Oh, no!' and he got up from his chair and went over and stood in the corner and I looked at Mary Anne and I said, 'That's the way he was.' ''

link

12/4/2005:

"We've been accused of being angry, old men and just hoping and praying that the last team would lose, and that's not true."

Don Shula

link

I GUESS THEY LEARNED FROM AN EXPERT

2005-12-20T07:05:00.000-08:00

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Vikings coach Mike Tice blamed his team's 18-3 loss to Pittsburgh on its sputtering offense and frazzled special teams. But make no mistake: Tice wasn't happy with video workers at the Metrodome, nor the fans that filled it Sunday.

Tice said Monday he was really bothered by the number of Steelers fans that procured tickets and attended the game. He also suggested the Dome's JumboTron operators could do a better job favoring the home team.

First things first: Tice estimated 15,000 to 20,000 Steelers fans were at the game, curtailing the Metrodome's home-field advantage. If Tice's figures are accurate, that means at least 10,000 of the Vikings' season-ticket base sold their tickets.

It confuses me, I guess," Tice said. "Maybe they're not really diehard season-ticket holders or maybe they needed the money for Christmas presents. I don't know. One of the two."

link

BECAUSE, AFTER ALL, WHO KNOWS MORE ABOUT TICKET SALES THAN COACH MIKE:

Minnesota Vikings head coach Mike Tice acknowledged to NFL security investigators on Tuesday that he scalped part of his personal allotment of 12 tickets to last month's Super Bowl, a violation of league rules that could result in him being fined or otherwise punished by NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue.

"I probably shouldn't have sold my tickets,'' Tice told SI.com on Thursday. "I made a mistake. I regret it. I'll never do it again. I'm going to be in trouble. I'll probably get slapped with a big fine."

"I sold some of my tickets this year,'' Tice said.

"I did. I told the league that and I told [team owner] Red McCombs that. I'm not going to lie. But if I'm going to be thrown out this year for selling tickets, then I'm a scapegoat.

"If I'm guilty of anything, I'm guilty of selling some of my tickets. I am not guilty of buying any player tickets since I've been made the head coach [in January 2002].''

link

HEY PAT, HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO PICK UP COACH VAN GUNDY AND HEAVE HIM OUT OF THE ARENA LIKE THAT?

2005-12-14T08:36:00.000-08:00

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"It all has to do with what I call big-muscle activity."

New Miami Heat coach Pat Riley

link

HARD TO, WHEN IT'S FORKED LIKE THAT

2005-12-14T08:16:00.000-08:00

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"All I know is Coach Riley doesn't bite his tongue. And you've got to respect a man who doesn't bite his tongue."

Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade

link

HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS?

2005-12-14T08:11:00.000-08:00

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"It was a shock to me. I found out when the media found out. I didn't know what was going on."

Shaquille O'Neal

link

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL, PHIL?

2005-12-13T06:15:00.000-08:00

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"We're not amazed, to say the least. We are enthralled by it, and it's a beautiful thing to see, but it's something that we've grown accustomed to over the years."

Phil Jackson

lat

MAPQUEST? ONSTAR?

2005-12-13T03:28:00.000-08:00

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"I think I know my way around a 94-by-50 court. I know what the hell I'm doing when I'm out there. But right now, I'm a little bit lost."

Pat Riley

link

WHO IS THE BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD?

2005-12-13T03:25:00.000-08:00

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"Right now, at this moment, I'm the best person"

Pat Riley

link

HOW TO SUCCEED IN FOOTBALL WITHOUT REALLY TRYING

2005-12-08T08:12:00.000-08:00

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"For whatever reason, being it's so hard to win on the road in this league now, everybody takes advantage of their home games."

"We haven't been too good at home, either."

"We do have to do a better job on these trips, knowing it's a business trip."

SF 49ers defensive tackle Bryant Young

link

RINGLING BROTHERS, BARNUM, AND HERM?

2005-12-08T04:37:00.000-08:00

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"We're not some circus team. This is not a circus."

Herm Edwards clears things up

link

TOM, HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE TOPLESS JENNIFER ANISTON PHOTOS?

2005-12-06T10:14:00.000-08:00

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"I don't allow myself to look at anything except the next team."

NY Giants coach Tom Coughlin is focused.

nyt

GOOD PICKUP

2005-12-05T08:40:00.001-08:00

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"Brooks is playing as good as he can play. That's all you can ask of a guy. He's doing everything he can to move the team."

Jets coach Herm Edwards evaluates his quarterback's performance.

Bollinger completed only 15 of 37 passes for 135 yards. He connected only seven times with his wideouts, and didn't complete a ball longer than 17 yards. Bollinger's passer rating? 39.8.

Bollinger dropped to 0-5 as a starter, and has orchestrated only one TD drive in his last 45 possessions.

link

QUALITY OF MERCY STRAINED JUST A LTTLE BIT

2005-12-05T08:25:00.000-08:00

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"We wanted to help the city because of 9/11. We specifically did it for New York, and then they turn around and trade us? I just don't understand."

Anna Benson, wife of Mets pitcher Kris Benson explains how we came to sign a 7.5 million dollar contract to pitch for the Mets starting in 2004

link

MY BAD

2005-12-05T06:41:00.000-08:00

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"We've been accused of being angry, old men and just hoping and praying that the last team would lose, and that's not true."

Don Shula, who actually wants the Colts to go undefeated, so people will stop bugging him about being the coach of the last undefeated NFL team.

link

SILVER LINING

2005-12-02T13:14:00.000-08:00

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"I have instant name recognition. It would be nice to do something on the field to back that up, otherwise I'll just be remembered as the coach who got shot."

Gary Joe Kinne, the coach who got shot.

"I always say there's a positive to every negative. We already had a great team, but without what happened ... I don't know. It's made us focus so much better."

G.J. Kinne, the coach who got shot's son, & the team's QB, reflecting on a comeback win.

link

NEXT HE'LL TELL US HOW HE CAME TO BE A SUCCESS IN THE MUSIC BUSINESS. THAT'S THE ONE THAT ALWAYS PUZZLED ME.

2005-12-02T06:18:00.000-08:00

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"It was late. And I was drunk."

Jon Bon Jovi explains how he came to own an Arena Football League team.

link

NICK THE NIHILIST

2005-11-22T13:32:00.000-08:00

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"The record doesn't really matter, the result doesn't matter and the score in the game doesn't really matter.''

Miami Dolphins coach Nick Saban.

link

WELL, HE SHOULD HAVE SAID IT

2005-11-21T07:17:00.000-08:00

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"We've had more quarterbacks than Spinal Tap's had drummers."

NY Jets coach Herm Edwards

link

SERIOUSLY, HOW MUCH COULD THAT HURT?

2005-11-17T04:27:00.001-08:00

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"Losing Herm would be like losing one of your best players, maybe like losing two of your best --players."

Jets RB Curtis Martin, on the prospect of coach Herm Edwards leaving.

link

"THAT WAS ONE OF OUR LOW RISK PLAYS" - EAGLES COACH ANDY REID

2005-11-16T07:56:00.000-08:00

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"It came right to me. I said, 'Don't drop it! Don't drop it!' "

Cowboys safety Roy Williams on his game-winning interception return Monday against the Eagles.

link

JUST A ROOKIE, YET ALREADY A MASTER OF ATHLETE GOBBLEDYGOOK

2005-11-10T06:34:00.000-08:00

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"I know enough to function. But obviously, I am limited to a certain degree. Anytime you're dealing with rookies that are an unknown variable, you just proceed to function until experience, I guess, proves them able."

Green Bay Packers latest running back, Samkon Gado.

link

COACH, CAST INTO A SEA OF MISFORTUNE, STRUGGLES TO THE SHOALS OF DIVERSITY

2005-11-10T04:23:00.000-08:00

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"I think it's good to have different personalities, because personalities are what make the game. . . . It's not a factory. You don't cookie-cut those guys. They're all different. They all come from different walks of life and they all have different beliefs. That's a good thing. It really is."

New York Jets coach Herm Edwards angles for a position as a sensitivity trainer. (He should be able to start in a couple of months.)

link

IT'S JUST LIKE LIVING NEXT TO MR. ROGERS, OR MOTHER TERESA

2005-11-09T09:59:00.000-08:00

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"He's a delightful man, soft-spoken, a religious man, so different than his TV persona."

Marybeth Tallas discusses her next-door neighbor, Terrell Owens

nyt

JUST A LITTLE SETBACK

2005-11-08T14:02:00.000-08:00

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Phils' Urbina held pending attempted murder charge

CARACAS, Venezuela - Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Ugueth Urbina was arrested and held today pending a formal charge of attempted murder, police said.

Last month, Urbina and a group of men allegedly attacked five workers with machetes and poured gasoline on them in an attempt to set them on fire. All five were injured, some of them with cuts and one with burns on the back and right arm, police said.

"This, of course, can in some way hurt his career as a professional ballplayer, and all will depend on the way in which he is brought before justice," defense lawyer Jose Luis Tamayo said.

link

A RARE CASE OF CHRONOBEEPAPHOBIA

2005-11-03T07:02:00.000-08:00

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"We just had the daylight savings time set back. I couldn't set my watch. Somebody fixed my watch, and all of a sudden it started beeping three hours later. They'd set the alarm on it or something. I took the watch off, put it in my desk and said, 'I'm not going to wear this thing until it's working.' Because of the fear of it beeping."

Green Bay Packers offensive coordinator Tom Rossley

link

WE KNOW, KOBE. WE HEARD ALL ABOUT IT.

2005-11-02T18:18:00.000-08:00

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"I wouldn't use the word proficient. We can be efficient sometimes. It comes and goes. It's in spurts."

Kobe Bryant

link

THE PLAY- BY- PLAY MAN'S FAVORITE FACT

2005-11-02T03:22:00.000-08:00

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"Remember, they can still get a first down here without getting a touchdown."

Intoned solemnly before every play whenever a team starts 1st and 10 from between their opponent's 10 and 12 yard line. This fascinating fact never ceases to amaze the play-by-play man. His repeated intonations are slower each time as if the concept is just too marvelous and abtruse for the viewer to apprehend.

IT'S AN INTERESTING GAME IF YOU REALLY PAY ATTENTION

2005-10-31T03:13:00.000-08:00

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"We have a delay of game on the defense - performing unnatural acts uncommon to the game of football in an attempt to make the offense jump offside."

Verbatim call from 1st quarter of Patriots Bills game

10/20/05

WE'RE STILL WORKING ON NEXT YEAR

2005-10-29T13:08:00.000-07:00

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"This is this year and last year was last year."

MCCC soccer coach Charlie Inverso

10/28/05

TELL IT TO PHILIP ROTH

2005-10-28T03:10:00.000-07:00

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"History is sometimes written beforehand. You can't make things up."

NY Giants running back Tiki Barber.

link

MJ COMES CLEAN

2005-10-25T06:53:00.000-07:00

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"I've had sex with more women that Wilt Chamberlain and I don't care."

"I've taken more drugs than Bobby Brown, Whitney Houston and Robert Downey Jr., put together and I don't care."

"I've lost more money gambling than Bill Bennett and I don't care."

"Jimmy crack corn and I don't care."

Michael Jordan

(raw footage - unaired - from the 60Minutes interview 10/23/05)

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TY TALKS TURKEY

2005-10-25T06:11:00.000-07:00

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"The NFL, especially in our division, is crazy. It's an any-given-Sunday scenario every week. No one is sticking out like a sore thumb. But we have to expedite the situation if we want to win."

Jets cornerback Ty Law

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DOGS DISSED

2005-10-20T06:40:00.000-07:00

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"I played like a dog."

Alex Rodriguez analyzes his post-season performance.

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PASS THE HAT

2005-10-19T04:46:00.000-07:00

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"I don't see it happening unless every NBA player is given a stipend to buy clothes,."

Marcus Camby on the new NBA dress code.

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2005-10-12T13:32:00.000-07:00

HE WAS ENJOYING THE SUNSET, SIPPING ON A SHIRLEY TEMPLE, MAYBE SAYING A LITTLE PRAYER

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Cruise staff talking with investigators; Vikings tight-lipped

Crew members who said they were reportedly confronted with Minnesota Vikings players having a wild sex party with women last week on two charter boats cruising Lake Minnetonka met today with Hennepin County Sheriff's detectives who are investigating allegations of prostitution and lewd behavior.

Running back Mewelde Moore said today that he was on board the boat but said media reports that characterized the trip as a sex party “got it all wrong, I guess.”

“Yeah, I was on the boat,” Moore said. “But I don’t know exactly what the problem is because nothing happened.”

Moore said he “didn’t see anything,” including sex acts.

“Sex? What are you talking about?” Moore said. “That’s crazy. Sex? Come on. Look, I’m engaged. So none of that. That will put me in trouble.”

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RON ARTEST CHANNELS IRON MKE

2005-10-12T07:48:00.000-07:00

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"I'm still going to be playing hard, out of control, just wild like an animal. I need to be caged in and I will let the referees handle it."

Ron Artest is looking forward to the upcoming season.

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THAT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE, HERM. WHO'S NEXT WHEN VINNY GOES DOWN? BOOMER? KEN O'BRIEN? BROWNY NAGLE?

2005-10-04T08:44:00.000-07:00

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"Yeah, I can do some different things (scheme-wise) with Vinny, but, to me, the most important thing is the guy's won and the guy's played quarterback in this league."

Jets coach Herm Edwards on "new" QB Vinny Testaverde

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AND IN A FEW MONTHS, HE MAY BE OUT OF BEING MR. COACH AS WELL

2005-09-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

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"I'm out of being Mr. Doctor. I'm tired of talking about it like I'm the doctor."

Jets coach Herm Edwards

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GENERAL MANAGER/COMEDIAN

2005-09-30T06:10:00.000-07:00

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In response to a question about whether the Kansas City Chiefs would try to take advantage of injured Eagles quarterback Donovan McNab during Sunday's game:

"We want to have a fair and equitable game, so I've instructed our defensive coordinator Gunther Cunningham not to call any any blitzes Sunday."

Carl Peterson, GM of the Chiefs, on 610WIP SportsRadio, Fri. AM

OUTDOING RANDY MOSS

2005-09-28T06:01:00.000-07:00

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"Speaking of the Phillies, anyone who saw David Bell's boner last night knows they will remember it for a long time."

610WIP SportsTalkRadio morning host Angelo Cataldi

ROLL OVER, MARK KNOPFLER

2005-09-28T03:21:00.000-07:00

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"When you're in the noose, maybe that's dire straits."

Phillies catcher Todd Pratt.

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THANK GOODNESS IT WASN'T A GROIN INJURY, #2

2005-09-26T05:50:00.000-07:00

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"They'll have to cut it off for me not to play."

Jets QB Chad Pennington

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HERM ON HIGH SCHOOL

2005-09-15T04:40:00.000-07:00

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"When you go to the prom, you rent your tuxedo, you get one of those big limousines and you feel pretty good. The next day, you come to school, you're driving a Volkswagen."

NY Jets coach Herm Edwards

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THANK GOODNESS IT WASN'T A GROIN INJURY

2005-09-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

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September 13,2005 SYDNEY, Australia -- An Australian professional football player said Tuesday he plans to have one of his fingers amputated in an attempt to improve his game.

Brett Backwell, who plays Australian rules football for Glenelg, a suburb of the city of Adelaide in South Australia state, told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. he has suffered from pain and restricted movement since he broke his left ring finger three years ago.

Doctors had suggested fusing the bones in the finger, but Backwell rejected the proposal.
He said he believed that amputating the finger was the only way to stop the pain and allow him to keep playing.

"To chop a finger off, that's a bit drastic," Backwell said. "But I love my footy (football), and love playing sport, and if that's going to help me to succeed at this level then it's something you've just got to do."

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THEY DIDN'T DO IT IN NEW ORLEANS, EITHER

2005-09-12T10:37:00.000-07:00

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"When you make mistakes, sometimes it tends to snowball. Somewhere along the line, someone has to put a dam in the bridge and we didn't do that."

Jets QB Chad Pennington

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INSERT CAPTION HERE

2005-09-12T07:44:00.000-07:00

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During the 2nd quarter of Sunday night's Colts Ravens game:

ESPN announcer (Mike Patrick?): "This is the most exciting zero to zero game ever!"

Joe Theisman: "You don't even know it's zero to zero!"

COACH SEES SILVER LINING IN HURRICANE DISASTER

2005-08-31T06:42:00.000-07:00

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“If we can deal with this, we’ll be a better a better football team in the long run.”

New Orleans Saints coach Jim Haslett.

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WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE CNN MORNING NEWS TEAM, MICHAEL?

2005-08-24T03:53:00.000-07:00

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"Everybody's professional. Nobody's an idiot. Nobody's a jerk."

Giants' defensive end Michael Strahan

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THEY START DOING IT WHEN THEY'RE 12 AND KEEP AT IT AS LONG AS THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT

2005-08-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

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"I just kind of said whatever to try to get rid of the questions."

Eli Manning

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STRUGGLING SECOND-STRINGER STRIKES SOLIPSISTIC STRATEGY

2005-08-19T05:47:00.000-07:00

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"In these situations what I've always done is focus on myself, worry about myself and keep trying to improve. If you start worrying about other people then you kind of lose control of what you're doing. You can't affect all that stuff."

NY Giants reserve quarterback Jesse Palmer

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GENE PITNEY REDUX

2005-08-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

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“Nobody is going to have pity on you.
If our guys are looking for pity,
they’re not going to get it from me.
And I’m not going to get it from anybody."

Kansas City Royals manager Buddy Bell

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STRONG STANCE

2005-08-17T08:35:00.000-07:00

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STORRS, Conn. (AP) -- Connecticut point guard Marcus Williams was arrested Tuesday on charges stemming from the theft of four laptop computers from student dorm rooms.

Williams, 19, of Los Angeles is the second member of the team to be charged in the thefts. Redshirt freshman A.J. Price was charged Friday. Police said they expect to make one more arrest in the case. The laptops were stolen between June 9 and June 14.

"... the Division of Athletics is unable to make any comment regarding these proceedings."
UCONN basketball team officials.

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BREAKING NEWS: IRON MIKE FINALLY WINS FIGHT

2005-08-16T07:54:00.000-07:00

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Mike Tyson is denying explosive new charges that he grabbed a woman off an Italian dance floor, dragged her to his yacht and pummeled her when she refused to indulge in sex and drugs.

The washed-up boxing champ cooperated with police when they tracked him down on a ritzy yacht in the Mediterranean, where he is living it up on a tour of the watering holes of the rich and famous.

"He was more than happy to talk to police and invited the officers on board, saying he was a 'good boy' and not a 'killer,'" an Italian police officer told the Scotsman newspaper.

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YANKEES FAN LIKES TO WATCH

2005-08-16T06:13:00.000-07:00

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Sexcapade in the subway - Fordham Road station gay-encounter hot spot

A Bronx subway platform has become a popular spot for gay men to have anonymous casual sexual encounters, the Daily News has learned.

The Fordham Road station, four stops from the end of the D line, is even featured on a Web site as one of numerous New York locations for men seeking other men to meet.

The cruising area is at the northern end of the long southbound platform. Anything goes, largely unnoticed - except to those in the know.

The News went to the Bronx station on a steamy summer night. In 90 minutes, we witnessed one lewd act - and were propositioned twice.

"It's a cruising area. I've seen a lot of sexual activity," said a 19-year-old man wearing a lavender-and-white Yankee cap.

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LIKE INTEREST RATES, THE WAR, IRAN, KOREA, AND, UM, OH YEAH, WHETHER YOU'RE GOING TO STINK AS BAD AS YOU DID LAST YEAT

2005-08-13T15:07:00.000-07:00

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"You look forward to games because you see where you stand on a lot of things."

Eli Manning

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EAGLES FANS REPORTED TERRIFIED

2005-08-10T04:30:00.000-07:00

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"I like the changes we made. I'm getting more comfortable every day with what we want to accomplish."

Redskins quarterback Patrick Ramsey is raring to go.

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