Wednesday, March 30, 2005

 

HE WAS WORKING ON A PAPER FOR HIS SOLIPSISM 101 SEMINAR

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TEMPE, Ariz. — Nearly one year after the outpouring over Army Ranger Pat Tillman's death in Afghanistan galvanized the Arizona State athletic community, it is reeling after the death of another former Sun Devil football player.

Tailback Loren Wade, a junior from Los Angeles, is in Madison Street Jail, where for the last four days he has been held without bail in connection with the shooting death of former player Brandon Falkner early Saturday outside a nightclub in Scottsdale, Ariz.

I was astonished." For something like this to occur, and him [Wade] being liable, it's mind-boggling to me. I can't even believe it, being a student here."

Chris Parkinson, a freshman, during a homework break on a sun-splashed afternoon.

lat

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WHEN YOU'RE A JET YOU'RE A JET ALL THE WAY FROM YOUR FIRST CIGARETTE TO YOUR LAST DYIN' DAY

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"Once you're a fellow, you're a fellow."

MLB's steroid expert Dr. Elliot J. Pellman.

In bold-face letters atop a résumé sent to Congress and Harvard, Dr. Pellman indicated that he is a fellow of the American College of Physicians.

He is not.

He lost the coveted title of fellow when he stopped paying dues six years ago. He is no longer even a member of the American College of Physicians, Susan C. Anderson, a spokeswoman for the medical society, said.

Also:

Dr. Pellman, has said repeatedly in biographical statements that he has a medical degree from the State University of New York at Stony Brook.

But Dr. Pellman attended medical school in Guadalajara, Mexico, and he received a medical degree from the New York State Education Department after a one-year residency at SUNY Stony Brook, state records show.

He does not hold an M.D. from Stony Brook, according to Dan Rosett, a university hospital spokesman.

And:

Dr. Pellman identified himself as an associate clinical professor at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine.

But he is an assistant clinical professor, a lower-ranking and honorary position that is held by thousands of doctors....

from nyt

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Monday, March 28, 2005

 

HE'S JUST LIKE JESUS AND HE OWNS A FOOTBALL TEAM

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"Something about his presence. Good person. Cares about others. Has compassion."

New Dolphins coach Nick Saban on Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga.

link

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Thursday, March 24, 2005

 

COMING SOON TO AN LPGA EVENT NEAR YOU: ELSIE ELS, PHYLLIS MICKELSON, & TABBY WOODS

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"This subject is quite disquieting for a lot of people."

USGA President David Fay on the organization's decision to allow transexuals to compete in its events.

link

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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

 

IN THE SPRING A YOUNG MAN'S FANCY LIKELY TURNS TO WHAT HE'S BEEN THINKIN' OF. HE'S THINKIN' OF LOVE. IN THE SPRING, A YOUNG MAN'S HEART BEGINS TO SING

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"Nobody respects Troy Brown more than I do. I love Troy Brown."

"Nobody has more respect for Troy Brown than I do. I love the kid."

"I love Troy Brown."

Patriots' coach Bill Belichick.

link

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AND NEXT, WE'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TO GO OVER NIAGARA FALLS IN A BARREL

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"You wanted me to jump off the bridge; I finally have jumped."

Barry Bonds

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Thursday, March 17, 2005

 

ROLL OVER, EDGAR GUEST

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My life story is read in poetic stages
I was once weak-minded, now I'm courageous
The cause and effect of a thousand actions
The mathematical breakdown of micro-fractions
It's difficult to fathom the coming of the rapture
What if I awoke in an empty pasture?

Suddenly every ounce of passion had been depleted
And all my determination had been defeated
The rain pours, my tears fall
The pain subsides, I stand in awe
A lightning bolt strikes, I feel a sudden energy
Thunder clouds approach, I can't run from destiny
A tornado tears me down, but I will stand again
My life is a hurricane, but I'll weather it to the end

Duke guard J. J. Redick is quite a poet.

There's more here. Warning: may act as an emetic

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005

 

I'VE GOT ALL THEM, AND I'VE GOT CHAPTER 1 OF THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO ON MY LEFT CALF.

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"I have my grandpa's and my mom's initials on my left biceps. I have my daughter's and mine on my right biceps. I have my nickname, D-WILL, on my shoulder. I have a basketball with the state of Texas around it that says TEXAS MADE because that's where I'm from. I have a cross on my left arm with a rose on it and angel wings. On my right arm I have a panther. On my chest I have my daughter's birth date. I'm kind of addicted."

Illinois' other guard Deron Williams discusses his tatoos.

link

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"WHEN I USE A WORD," HUMPTY DUMPTY SAID IN A RATHER SCORNFUL TONE, "IT MEANS JUST WHAT I CHOSE IT TO MEAN — NOTHING LESS, AND NOTHING MORE."

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"I'm not superstitious; I just go out there and play. I don't believe in all of that.

The only thing I do is that I put on everything on my righthand side first. Right shoe, right sock, my right leg in first."

Illinois guard Dee Brown

link

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ANOTHER POSITIVE: A GOOD HOURLY WAGE, WIN OR LOSE

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"We played horrible the last two games. The one positive is we've been inconsistent all season long."

Kobe Bryant

link

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YET ANOTHER PEACE-LOVING ATHLETE UNFAIRLY ACCUSED

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"In all the years I've known both of them I have never ever seen in his behavior anything that was at all abusive, threatening or menacing. In fact I've never even seen him raise his voice to her."

The charges are "completely bogus" and "blatantly false."

A "mutual" friend exonerates Michael Strahan of charges of spousal abuse and child neglect.

link

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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

 

IT'S OK. IT DOESN'T HURT AS MUCH WHEN A PROVOKED PACIFIST HITS YOU.

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"The thing is, he had to be provoked, and he was provoked not once, not twice (but three times)."

Gary Sheffield explains why Doc Gooden (Sheffield's uncle, by the by) punched his girlfriend in the face.

Sheffield also added that Gooden "is not a violent person."

link

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WHEN YOUR HEART'S ON FIRE, YOU MUST REALIZE...

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"There was an awful lot of smoke going on with all the fireworks before the game. Maybe we were a little foggy, I don't know."

Lakers' coach Frank Hamblen.

link

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WOODWARD, BERNSTEIN, & AFFALO

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"You hear a lot of negative stuff, but Coach Knight is a very good coach."

"I've heard from sources the negative stuff is just stuff that got put out there."

UCLA freshman Arron Affalo has the scoop on Bobby Knight.

link

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Sunday, March 13, 2005

 

AND, IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE

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"I like the smell of my grape ball."

Neal Stremmel, research director for the US Bowling Congress, discusses his scented bowling ball.

link

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FISH IN A BARREL DAY

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"I'm proud of me. I'm actually getting out there and doing something with my life and making myself successful."

Tonya Harding shortly before her scheduled prize fight with transvestite Daisy D was cancelled.

link

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ACTUALLY, SHE MAY BE ON TO SOMETHING

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"I think that people look at me as a true American. I do stupid things and live through it, live to tell about it."

Tonya Harding

link

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THIS GUY'S A MINDREADER. I WAS THINKING EXACTLY THE SAME THING.

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"What a great day this is for sports. Seriously, isn't Selection Sunday the greatest day for sports, when there isn't a game, of the entire year?"

Don Cherry, on the air now, on SportsRadio 610 WIP, Philadelphia

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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

 

I HAVE NO IDEA WHO HERB WILLIAMS IS, BUT HE CAN THROW A HECK OF A QUOTE

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"I have nothing to do with anything that goes on above my head."

Herb Williams?

link

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IT MAY BE HARD TO KICK THAT WAY

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"This is a kid that has both feet on the ground."

New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin on new Giants kicker Jay Feely

link

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Tuesday, March 08, 2005

 

LOOKING GIFT HORSES IN MOUTHS, BIG TIME

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"If you bet on horses, I would call you an idiot."

Horse trainer Jeff Mullins (currently 11th nationwide in purses)

link

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Monday, March 07, 2005

 

ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE HIM, OR YOUR LYING EYES?

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"I don't believe I popped him. It was just the heat of the game. I've got too much respect for him to try to pop him on senior night.''

When told that replays showed him hitting Hodge, Paul responded:

"I haven't seen the replay.''

Wake Forest star guard Chris Paul after being suspended for hitting an opposing player in the groin.

busted link not here

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WHALES, WATCHING

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“The fans who go naked from the waist up are really endangering themselves. But most of them tend to have a thick enough coat of blubber.”

Tom Mahoney, chief meteorologist for WFRV-TV Channel 5, Green Bay, discusses cheesehead attire at Packers games.

link

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ALSO, RAINDROPS ON ROSES, WHISKERS ON KITTENS, BRIGHT COPPER KETTLES AND WARM WOOLEN MITTENS

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"One of my favorite things is to watch infielders take groundballs."

Tony La Russa

link

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I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF, THAT'S WHY

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"You know I can't answer that question. So why do you keep asking?"

UCLA senior Brian Morrison
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