Thursday, December 30, 2004

 

EMMITT ADDLED?

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"It's oftentimes when people look at athletes and base on historical events and historical ages and those kind of things that players should go ahead and leave the game alone."

Arizona Cardinals running back Emmitt Smith.

link, reg.



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MAGMA WATCH

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"I'm like a volcano inside."

Jets quarterback Chad Pennington

link

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HE ALSO THINKS THAT HIS MAILMAN IS THE GREEN HORNET AND THAT DR. PHIL WAS ONE OF THE APOSTLES

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"I have so much confidence in the guy, I think he's Superman."

Rudy Tomjanovich, on Kobe Bryant.

link

"I like spiritual stuff. My man is Wayne Dyer, who wrote The Power of Intention."

Also Rudy T

that link



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MUST EVERYONE IN WASHINGTON DEFINE FAILURE AS SUCCESS?

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"I think we've at least made a passing grade. But just passing doesn't mean success because of the inconsistencies we've had. We're just not getting it done at crucial times. I would probably say we failed in that regard."

Washington Redskins tackle Ray Brown

link, reg

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Wednesday, December 29, 2004

 

EVERYBODY'S A DREAMER, EVERYBODY'S A STAR, AND EVERYBODY'S A GM, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE

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"I'm really worried about the Yankees bullpen. It's an important issue and it's just not being discussed."

Jerry from Queens, caller on SportsRadio 660 the FAN

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QUOTEMACHINE

--

"I am a firm believer that you are who you are."

"We are a football team that when we step on that field, we are going to play our way. It is for no other reason than that."

"I think the last thing you can do is try to go into any football game and diminish the importance of it."

"...we are preparing this week as we always have -- to go up there and win this football game. . . We are not going to diminish that."

"We have to go up and play football."

"That is what we are planning on doing.''

"This is how you play the game."

"At this point in the season, we have to play the game the way we know how to the play the game."

"We need to play this game as we have always played it."

"They just go out there and play. That is how we are going to approach this game.''

Steelers coach Bill Cowher

link, reg.




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APOLOGIES TO SANTA ANA

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"We still have to fight. We're going to come out next week and do our best to beat the Texans."

Cleveland Browns safety Earl Little.

link

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1,000 WORDS

--

Or not.

link

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Thursday, December 23, 2004

 

FATTI MASCHI, PAROLE FEMMINE

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"There's a motto that my English teacher told me a long time ago in school: Sometimes you have to dare to be great."

Kobe Bryant

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Wednesday, December 22, 2004

 

ETYMOLOGICAL EJECTION

--

"He got thrown out of the game because his name is Ricky Davis.''

Boston Celtics coach Doc Rivers

link

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Monday, December 20, 2004

 

IT WAS BEFORE HIS TIME

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"I thought rednecks were supposed to be laid back, but Chad didn't get that memo."

New York Jets lineman Pete Kendall on quarterback Chad Pennington.

link


Bill McKinney: "C'mon, squeal! Squeal! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!"

Ned Beatty: "Yeeeeeee!"

McKinney: "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Beatty: "Yeeeeee!"

McKinney: "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Herbert Coward: "Huh huh hee heh heh huh huh!"

Beatty: (gasp!)

next link



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JOY TO THE WORLD

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"It's that time of the year when the only thing on anyone's mind is football."

Rhea Hughes, member of the 610 WIP SportsRadio morning team.


link

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AND TO A HAMMER EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE A...

--

"This thing in my hand, the football, you've got to cherish it. You've got to protect it. It's your life. It's your livelihood."

"... but I want to get my message [across] that this is the most important thing in the world, this ball in my hand."

"I'm going to go my grave explaining to him and to all of them: this little ball here, this is it."

Cleveland Browns interim coach Terry Robiskie.

link

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NEXT WEEK, THE GAZINTAS AND THE TIMESES

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"I'm going to be very factual with our team. I'm going to point out the pluses. I'm going to point out the minuses."

New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin.

link, reg



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SONNY BONO TRIED THE STRAIGHT ON

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"I'm trying to get my head around mountains. They are so different from the narrow slope in the indoor center. The mountains are huge and high and there are trees and shadows and lumps of ice and everything. And there are so many different directions to go in, you can't decide. You can go left, right or straight on."

Kwame Nkrumah-Acheampong, prospective Olympic skier for Ghana, by way of Scotland.


"Climb every mountain, ford every stream. Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream!"

Rodgers and Hammerstein

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HE ALSO ONCE SHOT AN ELEPHANT IN HIS PAJAMAS

--

"There are probably two to three hundred pictures of me kissing people at events. I kissed a guy on the cheek who was dressed as a leprechaun at a Halloween party, but nobody published that. If I had been kissing ladies on the cheek at an old-age home, I would have been called a hero."

Larry Eustachy, basketball coach, reformed alcoholic, serial kisser.

link,reg

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Thursday, December 16, 2004

 

INCIDENTALLY

--

"We're not perfect. People make mistakes"

Rutgers University Athletic Director Robert E.Mulcahy III commenting on "the incidents."

The incidents

The string of events began in October 2003, when two students affiliated with the Rutgers wrestling program were involved in an early-morning brawl outside the Squamish fraternity house. The incident left two University students hospitalized. Jonathan Rodriguez, a former wrestler, pleaded guilty to two counts of second-degree aggravated assault and in September received a five-year sentence for striking the two students with a wooden baseball bat. His younger brother, Kenneth Rodriguez, a Rutgers wrestler at the time of the incident, pleaded guilty to hindering apprehension for trying to hide the bat and was sentenced to 180 days in prison. The Rodriguez brothers were two of eight defendants charged as a result of the incident.

In February of this year, Rutgers football player Alfred Peterson, a University College junior, was charged with criminal sexual contact and aggravated assault for allegedly slapping a female student on the buttocks and punching her multiple times. Although the case has not been settled in court, the University student judiciary committee cleared Peterson of wrongdoing. He was permitted to play this past season.

In April, it was uncovered that another former football player, Davon Clark - who was part of the same recruiting class as Peterson - was indicted on charges of murder, hindering apprehension and weapons offenses in what is believed to be a gang-related shooting of a 25-year old Paterson woman. At the time, prosecutors said Clark, who had history of off-the-field trouble within the football program, provided a man with the gun used to kill the woman. He is no longer affiliated with the University. In June, Rutgers football recruit Anthony Miller - before arriving at the University - was charged with aggravated assault of a police officer after a reported fight at a local strip mall. It was Miller's second run-in with the law this year. Miller, a University College first-year student, was permitted to play this season.

The situation reached a climax in September when reports surfaced that Hurns, University College junior, held then-girlfriend and former Rutgers soccer player Kelly Evans captive on July 10. According to various reports, the dispute began at Evans' Guilden Street home when she stopped Hurns from taking some prescription pills by flushing them down the toilet. The incident escalated rapidly from there, with Hurns reportedly tying Evans up with tape, hitting her in the face, sticking a steak knife into her bed and writing on her body in marker. Hurns eventually pled guilty to two charges - terroristic threats and criminal restraint - leading to her three-year probation sentence. Reports said Hurns agreed to a mental health evaluation and to seek treatment for substance abuse. The athletic department suspended Hurns, who was dismissed from two other universities prior to her arrival at Rutgers, for one year, meaning, as a senior, she has played her last game for the Scarlet Knights.


link

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Wednesday, December 15, 2004

 

HERMAPHRODITIC HOST?

--

"I have a sheared beaver bomber, and it's fantastic."

Howard Eskin, afternoon drive-time host on SportsRadio 610 WIP

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AND IN RIGHT FIELD, CARLOS CASTENADA

--

"I saw Joe Torre down in Florida. I told him, 'Try to get Carlos Beltran. If you can't get Carlos Beltran, then try to get Carlos Delgado. If you can't get Carlos Delgado, then just try to get any guy named Carlos.'"

Regis Philbin on SportsRadio 660, The Fan

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Tuesday, December 14, 2004

 

WHAT'S THE SQUARE ROOT OF THE HYPOTENUSE?

--

"People think that I know everything, but that is not true.'

Pedro Martinez

link



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Monday, December 13, 2004

 

CAUTIOUS CANINE CAVILS

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"It's conceivable.... No, ... conceivable is too strong a word. It's possible - possible - that the Jets could go 11 and 5 and miss the playoffs."

Chris "Mad Dog" Russo doing his thing on SportsRadio 660, The Fan
12/13/04

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I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS THE TWO POINT CONVERSION

--

"Timeouts are the most important thing in the world."

Joe Theisman (Sunday Night Football 12/12/04)

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Friday, December 10, 2004

 

JUST WAIT UNTIL HE SEES THE WILDEBEEST

--

"I was so impressed with that animal because it doesn't really pay attention to where it's going."

Houston Texans center Steve McKinney on nearly being trampled by a rhinocerous.

link

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BUT IF YOU GET A HOLE IN ONE ON THE 19TH, DON'T YOU GET A FREE GAME?

--

"I'm starting to pick up golf. It's enjoyable, but 19 holes is a lot. I shoot ridiculously high. The first hole I played I had like a 15. But it's getting better."
Chicago Bears defensive end Michael Haynes

link

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HE ALSO WRITES ESSAYS ON HIS TOES

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"I've been writing scripture on my nose -- and I have a big nose -- since I was in college,"

Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tommie Harris

link

"Verily I say unto you, there is nothing hidden which shall not be revealed to him who can read the creation of God."

Jesus

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MINDMELD

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"At practice recently Tom Coughlin said, 'Tiki, you need to do more.' I knew what he meant."

Tiki Barber

link


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SPORTSQUOTES' PATRON SAINT MAKES AN APPEARANCE

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"I think that (Ron Artest) made a mistake going into the stands" in the Indiana-Detroit melee, .... "But sometimes, you know, you have to go in there and kick their (butt), ... When they start throwing things, you have to go in there and kick ... real good."

Charles Barkley

link (scroll)


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Thursday, December 09, 2004

 

AND YOU THOUGHT PHIL JACKSON WAS INSCRUTABLE

--

"If we're playing horseshoes, we're a great horseshoe team."

Laker Coach Rudy Tomjanovich

link, reg.

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IT'S A PIECE OF WOOD, WITH UNITS OF DISTANCE MARKED OFF IN GRADUATED INCREMENTS, USED TO DETERMINE LENGTH. TOMORROW, PENCIL SHARPENERS

--

"What's a measuring stick?"

New York Jets center Kevin Mawae

link

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OK, THEN. YEAH. RIGHT. WELL, WHATEVER

--

"The dialogue that I had with the Mets, it was very convoluted and very fuzzy. It really wasn't up front. It wasn't forthright."

Al Leiter

link

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THEY ALSO HAVE THE PILL IN POLAND

--

FROM THE ARCHIVES:

"Do they have rubbers in Russia?"

73 year old Ted Williams, while on a fishing trip in Murmansk, contemplates an assignation


On page 355



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MERCY!

--

"They were upforth and they were coming hard."

Newest Phillie Jon Lieber discussing his dealings with the Philadelphia organization.

Radio interview 12/9/04

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Wednesday, December 08, 2004

 

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?

--

"He was a real character. One of his sort of favorite things to do was to pull pranks on his guys ... like come from behind them and put them in a headlock. He was a real joker that way."

Barry Pepper on Dale Earnhardt

link

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HE FORGOT CABER TOSSING AND TIDDLEYWINKS

--

"We're not a strong sport. There's football, baseball, basketball, NASCAR, even bowling. Then we're down there.

Colin White of The Jersey Devils

link

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WHAT'S IN THAT BIG BOX, COACH?

--

"It's always good to be able to present areas in which the other team has had success when you're presenting your next opponent to your team."

New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin

link

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I IMPLY, YOU INFER

--

"There are a lot of implications with this game."

Pittsburgh Steelers coach Bill Cowher

link

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DANNY'S DILEMMAS

--

INSPECTED BY #7, THE TAG SAID

LONDON (Reuters) - British heavyweight fighter Danny Williams has threatened to pull out of Saturday's World Boxing Council title fight with champion Vitali Klitschko if he is forced to shave his beard, British media reported.

Williams, a devout Muslim, will have his beard inspected by the Nevada State Athletic Commission on Wednesday to see if he would gain any advantage during the Las Vegas bout.

"If they ask me to shave or even trim it there won't be a fight," Williams was quoted as saying by the Daily Telegraph.

link

THEN THERE'S THIS:

"From reading the Koran, I know that God doesn't want me to be hitting people in the face to earn money," Williams said. "I try not to think about it too much before a fight because if I did I'd be out of the sport already.

link

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Tuesday, December 07, 2004

 

GOLFER OR GAZELLE?

--

"I feel like I'm on an open plain and all you see is the horizon. I feel like I'm running and everybody is chasing me.

"Sooner or later, I'm going to get tired and guys are going to catch me. So I want to stay there. I want to keep ahead of the pack as long as possible."

Vijay Singh

link

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COACH CLEARS THINGS UP

--

"I wasn't trying to send a message, but I'll send a message: If you fumble it, we won't let you play. It's not a hidden secret. If we're in positions and we're trying to win football games and you're putting us in a position that you're creating turnovers, you can't play."

Cleveland Browns coach Terry Robiskie

link

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"ARNOLD, PLEASE LEAVE THE ROOM"

--

"Barry Bonds is a great athlete. He has the records he has because he's a great athlete. ... I don't think any of us knows the ins and outs of that situation. The best person to discuss that is Barry Bonds.''

"As a parent, I don't look to my politicians for how I should talk to my kids,'' she said. "I don't think I've ever taken a cue from a political leader on what to talk to my kid about.''

Maria Shriver

link

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Monday, December 06, 2004

 

LAND OF THE GIANTS

--

"I think we need to find some options, different things to do so that we are not as routine in the things that we do." - Tiki Barber

"We're not shocking people." - Jeremy Shockey

(link)

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