Friday, January 28, 2005

 

A WHOPPER AND FRIES IS A GREAT MEAL. THE AMC PACER WAS A GREAT CAR. JOHN ASHCROFT WAS....

--

"How did I not have a great year? I had 11 wins, didn't I? Isn't that good enough?"

Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Brett Myers commenting on his 2004 record of 11-11 (with 5.52 ERA).

here


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Thursday, January 27, 2005

 

EDWARD JOHN SMITH HAD THE SAME ATTITUDE AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM

--

"You can't worry about fog three years ahead of time, and you can't worry about it three minutes ahead of time because of the vagaries of fog."

USGA executive director David Fay.

story link

Edward John Smith

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Wednesday, January 26, 2005

 

I'M GOING TO TRY THIS ON THE NEXT GUY WHO CUTS IN FRONT OF ME AT THE COPY MACHINE

--

IKE REESE, Eagles Linebacker:

"When we played the Patriots last year Brian Westbrook fumbled a punt, and we were all down there scrambling for it. Mike Vrabel had my testicles in his hand, and he was squeezing them. Guys reach inside the face mask to gouge your eyes. But the biggest thing is the grabbing of the testicles."

MARCO RIVERA, Packers Guard:

"I've had guys go for the privates..."

BEN LEBER, Chargers Linebacker:

"I don't know if people really want to know what goes on down there: Basically anything you can't get away with on the field, you can get away with under that pile. Nobody can see you. The go-to spots are the eyes and the family jewels. If anybody grabs your family jewels, you are going to let go. In the pile you hear some screams of pain, but you don't know where it is coming from -- unless it's you."

STEVE GLEASON, Saints Safety:

"We were playing Tampa Bay last year, and I just about lost my manhood trying to recover a fumble on a punt. I was shocked. I had the ball in my hand, and someone was reaching from behind me -- between my legs. I recovered the fumble, but when I got in the shower after the game, I literally had claw marks all over my inner thighs."


KEYDRICK VINCENT, Steelers Guard:

"The defensive linemen grab at your nuts, people try to poke your eyes out. If you're on the bottom, close in and tuck, do the fetal position. It's real ugly down there.

link




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Monday, January 24, 2005

 

AMAZINGLY, BILL COWHER DREAMS OF BECOMING A PLUMBER, AND MY PLUMBER WANTS TO BE A HIP-HOP STAR

--

"My dream is to coach in the NFL, probably for the Steelers."

Snoop Dogg.

link

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Thursday, January 20, 2005

 

AND IN 2017 IT'LL BE 4 CONDOLEEZZAS AND 1 KONDOLEEZZA

--

Name game: Caitlin is such a popular name among teenage girls that Reno Galena High, according to NevadaPrep.com, used a starting lineup of four Caitlins and one Kaitlin on Tuesday night in a 65-30 victory over Reno Damonte Ranch.

link

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Wednesday, January 19, 2005

 

PRETTY MUCH EXACTLY WHAT I WANT FROM LIFE

--

"Since we're talking about horses that go for $50,000 to $150,000, it's not worth cutting corners."

"We treat them like we would like to be treated."

Rodeo horseman Mike Johnson

The horses ... get good beds of shavings, quality hay and time outside, away from the overpowering smell of ammonia in the barns.

link

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WTSROTH? (PART 3)

--

"Everybody wants answers, like, right now, and that would be wrong on my part to do that. I think you've got to take a step back, evaluate it all, get it all down on paper...."

New York Jets General Manager Terry Bradway refuses to answer SportsQuotes' signature question

nyt

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COINCIDENTALLY, THE LAST BOOK CHE EVER READ WAS A BASKETBALL MANUAL

--

"I'm actually reading the Communist Manifesto... only because I was reading the autobiography of Che Guevara and I wanted to get a better perspective."

Phoenix Suns guard Steve Nash.

link



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Tuesday, January 18, 2005

 

WAY TO WORK FOR THOSE QUOTES, TIMES REPORTER

--

"Look at him, after all those carries," a woman exclaimed. "He can't stop running."

A woman evaluates Falcons running back Warrick Dunn.

link

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IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE YMCA

--

"I'm with some guys that I like, and they like me."

"I can truly say that I'm surrounded by some guys...."

"Any time we score, I'm happy."

Patriots running back Corey Dillon.

link

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Friday, January 14, 2005

 

HITLER, DICK NIXON, SPOTTED ICE SKATING

--

After an exhaustive search, I've come to the conclusion that no one in the world of sports said anything noteworthy, funny, or exceptionally stupid today.

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Thursday, January 13, 2005

 

HOW HARD IS IT TO GET GOOD HELP?

--

"I've told you before, my job is not to pull weeds. Or rake the field, or whatever."

New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick.

link

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RUTGERS REFLUX

--

"Everyone let their guts fly and I wanted it that way...."

"And I think it truly helped. It kind of cleansed us because we were struggling within."

Rutgers basketball coach Gary Waters

you have to register to read this rag

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HERE'S A TEST. CAN HE SPELL ROETHLISBERGER?

--

"You're talking about a guy that's pretty cerebral."

New York Jets coach Herm Edwards, on quarterback Chad Pennington.

that link

the evidence

the caveat

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Wednesday, January 12, 2005

 

FIND THE NEOLOGISM

--

"When you're in the seat, you work on the race car. When you're out of the seat, which is a split-second right after a race, there are things to do sponsor-wise, there are things to do Kurt Busch-wise, and I wasn't focused on the proper direction."

Nextel Cup champion Kurt Busch.

link

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Tuesday, January 11, 2005

 

HE SHOULD KNOW, IT WAS IN THE SMOKING GUN

--

"I'm not Kobe. I don't know what Kobe wants. I don't know what Kobe thinks."

Minnesota Timberwolf Kevin Garnett

Garnett link

what Kobe wants, what Kobe thinks

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CHEEKS CHUCKS CONCESSIONS

--

"People are always dropping popcorn, and the stuff is so messy"

"I just can't handle seeing popcorn all over the place"

"No more popcorn in here!"

"There was popcorn everywhere in the coaches' locker room."

"I don't know if I was more upset with the loss or the popcorn."

Portland Trail Blazers coach Maurice Cheeks

link

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Monday, January 10, 2005

 

I SAID, WHAT'S THE SQUARE ROOT OF THE HYPOTENUSE?

--

"That's a dumb question. What's the difference? What's the difference? What's the difference?"

Denver Broncos veteran Rod Smith

link

Will no one give me an answer?

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THE LORD IS MY AGENT, I SHALL NOT WANT

--

"I think the Lord is going to tell me where to go. And then whatever He says, they will give me the deal that I am supposed to have.''

Seattls Seahawks running back and free agent Shaun Alexander.

link

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THE BIG UNIT ARRIVES IN THE BIG APPLE

--

"No cameras! Don't get in my face! I don't care who you are don't get in my face! Don't get in my face and don't talk back to me!"

New New Yorker Randy Johnson.

link



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RIGHT UP THERE WITH THE INVASION OF STALINGRAD

--

"It was one of the worst mistakes ever made."

Jim Nance evaluates Jets linebacker Eric Barton's late hit on Chargers quarterback Drew Brees.

On SportsRadio 660 The Fan

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Friday, January 07, 2005

 

CONCRETE CHARLEY CHECKS IN

--

"These guys today are a bunch of cocky SOBs. Overpaid and underplayed multimillionaires."

"She's a snotty bitch." (on Kathy Lee Gifford)

"Let's get back to Deion Sanders. There is the biggest jerkoff. He couldn't tackle my wife Emma."

"That goddamn son of a bitch from Baltimore. [Ray] Lewis? Christ almighty. After very tackle he's doing a dance!"

Ex- Philadelphia Eagle Chuck Bednarik, interviewed in Jan. issue of Philadelphia Magazine.

not online.



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SOUND LIKE A THRILLING OFF-SEASON IS IN STORE

--

"Here's the way it usually goes. We sit across from the player and I say, 'Now you have to understand, we work here. We work hard at this game and at winning.' Normally they look across from me and say 'Isn't that what a football player is supposed to do?'"

New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin divulges his secret technique for luring free agents.

who's checking?

|  

I GUESS HE SAW OFFICE SPACE

--

"I'm not interested in any job."

USC coach Pete Carroll

register!

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SO, JUST LIKE THEIR NAMESAKES, THEY WERE ONLY IN IT FOR THE MONEY

--

"In the past the Viking was seen as a wild, undisciplined individual bent on wanton violence. But the revised picture is that of trader who did not cherish violence. ... No doubt, the commercial aspect of life was important to the Vikings."

page 142-

|  

I WON'T GO THERE, IT'S A FAMILY BLOG

--


"Because you want to win that last game and have a better taste in your mouth. We didn't have that good taste in your mouth."

Thus says Vikings coach Mike Tice.

that's fit

|  

ROLL OVER, CARL SAGAN

--

"My other two pupils were the opposite sides of the moon. But this guy is on the same side of the moon, is on the same planet that I'm on."

Shaquille O'Neal

link

|  

IT'S TRUE. MOST WOMEN I KNOW JUST LOVE TO CRITICIZED.

--


"All the criticism, if you're a man, bothers you."

Minnesota Vikings coach Mike Tice.

all the news

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Thursday, January 06, 2005

 

MIRROR, MIRROR

--


I like people to see my face. I'm cute. I don't like being covered up by a mask."

LeBron James

link

|  

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BASKETBALL AND A LOAF OF WHOLE WHEAT?

--

"We've been hearing the last four, five six games in a row that we're the worst team since sliced bread"

"We were focused as far as attention to detail."

Both from Steve Francis of the Orlando Magic.

link



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Wednesday, January 05, 2005

 

THEY'LL DEBATE IT ON CROSSFIRE NEXT WEEK

--

"There are two sides. Some people feel LaVar is valuable. Some people feel you can do without him."

Washington Redskins linebacker LaVar Arrington on himself.

link

|  

SOUNDS LIKES HE'S BEEN READING KRISHNAMURTI

--

"I don't know why it is so important that we define exactly what that is, but what is is what is."

New Miami Dolphins Coach Nick Saban "bristles" when asked to define his job responsibilities.

link

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Tuesday, January 04, 2005

 

I LOVE THIS GUY

--

Matt Leinart was overrated. Leinart was a "good quarterback, but he's not a Heisman Trophy winning quarterback."

"I want to respect them just because I have to play them, but then I watch them on tape and everything, and I realize that they're an average team."

"The Pac-10 has no speed. Our receivers are bigger than their receivers. Our D-line is faster than their D-line."

Oklahoma Defensive End Larry Birdine discusses USC.

From the paper of record.


|  

THEY TRACKED HIM DOWN, CALLED HIM UP, AND THIS IS WHAT THEY GOT

--

In the playoffs, you just want to win."

Former San Diego Charger Kellen Winslow. (in a telephone interview)

I know you're already registered.



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Monday, January 03, 2005

 

IS IT ANY WONDER? (see link 2)

--

"I'm sporadic, I'm inconsistent."

Jets quarterback Chad Pennington

link

link2


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NEWTON'S LITTLE KNOWN FOURTH LAW OF MOTION

--

"Whatever you focus on, that's what you're going to gravitate to."

New York Knicks co-captain Allan Houston.

link

|  

COINCIDENTALLY, THAT'S ALSO USAIR'S NEW MOTTO

--

"I don't think we'll carry baggage. I really don't."

Jets left guard Pete Kendall.

link

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Sunday, January 02, 2005

 

THEY DIDN'T CALL HIM THE OLD PERFESSER FOR NOTHING

--

"Midgets are smart. Smart and slick as eels. You know why? It's because they're not able to do much with those short fingers. You understand? Not being able to do anything with their fingers, what do they do? They develop their brain power."

Casey Stengel

page 26




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